i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
