...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize