question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
