the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
