so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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