i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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