It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
