no, he came in my armpit
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
