and she was petting her beer can
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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