Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
