i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
