just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
