Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
