Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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