I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
