I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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