You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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