2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize