Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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