Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
zippers are such a cool invention
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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