Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
