Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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