There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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