I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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