She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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