there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
