tell your sister to shave her snatch
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I am available for nakedness
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize