I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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