why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
