i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
