Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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