Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
When did angry sex become our thing?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
