It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
