let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Just pee around me
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
