my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
