i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
