God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
