it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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