I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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