Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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