Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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