I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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