I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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