So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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