shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
