so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
