I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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