I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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