I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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