jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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