Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
