She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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