I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
