the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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