Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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