My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
