i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
