I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
