So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
