mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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