if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
