Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
