It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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